Over the world, people practice numerous wedding customs that have been passed on through many generations. Although each has a long history of meaning and significance, many just seem strange and out of place in today’s culture. Are they just opportunities to playfully scam the bride and groom?
Check out some of the historical wedding customs that are still practiced today, much to the intrigue and wonderment of its audience.
Blackening the Bride
Would you like the recipe? Mix eggs, different sauces, butter, cheese, noodles, fish, sausages, carrots. Some extra ingredients can be added. Everything depends on your imagination.
In the Scottish pre-wedding tradition of “Blackening the Bride,” The bride is taken by surprise and covered with foul substances, such as the recipe mentioned above.
When she is "blacken" she is guided through town for everyone to see her.
What's the "procedure" for the bride when entering her new home? Before she enters it an oatcake or "bannocks" (a biscuit made of barley and oat flour) is broken above her head. Pieces of bannocks are then share among everyone present. Only then the groom carries the bride over the threshold.
Most unions can trace their beginnings to that one special night when the couple first met their gaze in a crowded room and forever cemented their fate by a quick in the backseat and a broken condom. Some cultures however decided to skip all this romantic crap and go from the “total strangers” phase straight to marriage in one messed-up leap of criminal activity: kidnapping the bride.
The Romani, also known as Gypsies, for centuries have had this tradition, that if you manage to forcefully kidnap a girl and keep her by your side for 2-3 days, she officially becomes your wife. Long ago this probably made a lot sense, as it helped you avoid buying the bride off the parents or having Thanksgiving dinner with them every year. But even in this day and age it’s not viewed as anything strange in the Roma culture, and many women simply go with the fact that the overweight guy, who cornered them with a bottle of chloroform at a McDonald’s lady’s bathroom, is now the love of their life.
Some of you are probably wondering, how in the f**k is this legal? Well, it’s a cultural practice of a large ethnic minority and most governments would rather start flossing with razor wire than to commit the PR equivalent of suicide by banning a minority Tradition.
The Romani, also known as Gypsies, for centuries have had this tradition, that if you manage to forcefully kidnap a girl and keep her by your side for 2-3 days, she officially becomes your wife. Long ago this probably made a lot sense, as it helped you avoid buying the bride off the parents or having Thanksgiving dinner with them every year. But even in this day and age it’s not viewed as anything strange in the Roma culture, and many women simply go with the fact that the overweight guy, who cornered them with a bottle of chloroform at a McDonald’s lady’s bathroom, is now the love of their life.
Some of you are probably wondering, how in the f**k is this legal? Well, it’s a cultural practice of a large ethnic minority and most governments would rather start flossing with razor wire than to commit the PR equivalent of suicide by banning a minority Tradition.
Marrying Animals To Exorcise Ghosts
The Western culture is no stranger to superstition especially during a wedding. Most brides would sooner set fire to the church and postpone the ceremony than to get married without something old, new, borrowed and blue. And don’t even think about trying to catch a glimpse of your wife-to-be before the nuptials or that’s 3 stitches to the temple right there on the spot.
But the Santhal tribe in India decided to one-up us all and cranked the wedding-crazy dial all the way up to 11. They believe that if a baby girl has a tooth rooted to her upper gum, it’s the obvious sign she will be eaten by a tiger or something in the near future, because ghosts hate her. Therefore, she must marry a dog. Such was the story of Karnamoni Handsa, a 9-year-old Indian girl who “married” the local stray Bacchan amidst the dancing and cheers of her 100 guests getting shitfaced on home-made booze. Huh… Somehow the presence of moonshine in a cross-species wedding is not surprising in the least…
The good news is, this is nothing but a mock ceremony and the couple don’t have to consummate the wedding. It’s just to ward off the evil spirits so the girl can marry a real boy some time later. Thank God, otherwise this exorcism ritual between a child and a canine would have been really weird.
No Shitting!
There is nothing more beautiful than a wedding. It is after all the couple’s first day as two happily married people, surrounded by friends, flowers and fancy foods. But for the tribes of the Tidong community in northern Borneo, a wedding is the first day of a grueling journey to the deepest levels of Hell and back. It’s the day when the couple must stop pooping for 72 hours.
The Tidong tradition dictates that a newly married couple be confined to their house and not empty their bowels or urinate under any possible circumstances for the entirety of 3 nights and 3 days. That’s why they are often carefully watched over by family members and given very little food or water. The Tidong people believe that if the couple makes it, they will lead a happy and long life with lots of non-dead children, so the stakes are pretty high here.
When you think about it, there is a spark of genius in this practice. Nothing binds 2 people for life like going through difficult times together, and there is nothing more difficult than being denied to go to the bathroom for nearly half a week. When the 3 days are up, these people will be closer to each other than ever before, because they will no longer be just husband and wife… They will be poop buddies.
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